Lessons in Crawfish

One of the many hats that I wear in any given day is that of the Worship Ministry Assistant at Faith Promise Church. It's my full-time job, my ministry and the thing that gets the majority of my time and attention in any given week. That said, I get asked often "So, what exactly do you do?" At that point in the conversation, I stare blankly while thinking to myself "How much information do they REALLY want to know about what I do?"

The gist of it is this: I'm the utility person that tends to work more in the administrative realm, assisting to execute the plans and goals laid out by those in leadership. In other words, I do whatever is needed at that time.

In the course of my two and a half years in this position, my job responsibilities have changed frequently with just a few things staying the same throughout the course of changes and shifts. One of those things is the organization and execution of our annual Crawfish Boil. The guest list for this event includes the cast and crew of our Easter production, as well as all others that are involved in the worship ministry at any given time through the remainder of the year.

It's big, it's messy, and a ton of fun...most of the time.

My first experience in pulling together the Crawfish Boil was not so much fun for me. If transparency is what I'm going for here, then I must confess that I hated it. I had no idea what I was doing, and the weather was horrible! Thunderstorms. Mud. Yuck! I had never eaten crawfish, or organized anything having to do with crawfish in my life. It was stressful. It was chaotic. It...was...miserable.

There were lots of tears that day and in the days to follow. Not just because the Crawfish Boil crashed and burned, but because it was at the height of a long line of failures in this job that I had, at one time, wanted very badly. At the time, it seemed that everyone else had all of their stuff together, and I just didn't fit the mold.

(Retrospect is a beautiful thing.)

There was a laundry list of things that did not go well that year. Some of them were completely out of my control, some of them were honest mistakes, but some of them were things that I completely let go and gave up on because I was so overwhelmed. This is never a good place to be, but it does happen.

The good news is that I learned a lot from that experience while somehow managing to keep my job. When you can't walk away with success in any situation, you might as well walk away with a lesson. Otherwise, ALL is lost!

I learned that I can't do it all by myself.

I learned that my talents and natural gifts alone won't take me very far.

I learned that I don't have to appear to have it all together all of the time just because I work at a church.

Beginning that night, and in the days following, I was done. Even now, two years later, thinking about that period of time turns my stomach in knots and causes my eyes to burn. I questioned God.

"God, why did You bring me out of a job where I was successful and content only to completely crush me? Why did You lead me to work in this place if You knew that I was completely incapable and incompetent? Before these people were my co-workers, they were my church family...the only church family I've ever known. This is the last group of people that I ever wanted to disappoint."

His response has stuck with me.

"What makes you think that I put you here because of what YOU can do? I want you and everyone else to see what I can do."

Thank You, God, for the mystery that comes with everything that You do in my life. Thank You for the twists and turns that keep the journey interesting. Thank You for releasing me from the burden of having to know everything all of the time.

"...and then he told me, My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness."
-2 Corinthians 12:9 (The Message)